In honor of
President’s day, ironic terrorists have kidnapped the president’s family and
are holding them hostage at a nuclear power plant, threatening to blow the
place and the entire southeast if their demands aren’t met. Now, the only troops that can sneak past the
heat sensing radar and the radiation-polluted moat are… the presidents of days
past. So the president must reanimate
the corpses of the previous presidents – all stored in the white house
cryogenics chamber – even the ones whose political affiliations he disagrees
with, and send in the army of governmental zombies to rescue his family.
The undead
presidents immediately set themselves to the task, bickering along the
way. Washington leads the crossing of
the Delaware moat into the base as the terrorists struggle to defend
themselves. The presidents learn that
they can’t resort to biting back, because all that comes out of that is
insurgent zombie terrorists (possible sequel title) and that’s no good for
anyone. Also, when they have to seduce a
sexy terrorist out of the way, they wish Clinton were dead already.
By the time
they make it to the nuclear core reactor, Lincoln and Kennedy have had a chance
to finally get back at people that shoot them and everyone makes fun of those
who are new to gunshot wounds. The whole
thing culminates in a standoff between the Russian leader, maybe Rasputin, and
Thomas Jefferson, and it seems that the terrorists may win this war, but of
course they don’t know that FDR is climbing around in the vent system waiting
to make a sneak attack.
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